11:08 PM – Saturday, January 17, 2015

Dear Stupid Diary,

I went public with Cath in College two days ago. I was freaking out when I pressed that button. But then Allan threatened to slap me and said I had to “own that sh*t.” He said if anybody questions it, I gotta look them in the eye and say “f*ck yeah, I did that.” I immediately felt better. 

IMG_6425

1:00 AM – Technically Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Dear Stupid Diary,

Today Allan and I were NSO volunteers. We moved in frosh… so many of them knew who I was. Knew my name, knew my story, said they loved me/recognized me/were fans. I wasn’t prepared for today. I wonder when this will all die down. Probably soon, I’m not mysterious enough to make these kids think I’m this cool for too long.

It’s weird because I feel like if all this was happening but I was a student in the class of 2019 and somebody else was CiC, I would be so annoyed by how many of my peers would be treating the whole situation. CiC would irk the f*ck outta me. Weird. 

12:20 AM – Technically Friday, April 1, 2016

Dear Stupid Diary,

I wrote a blog post on the plane ride home from Spring Break… it was called “W for Wisdom: How Stanford is killing the very intellectual vitality that got us all in.” It got a ton of love, and even was shared in the FoHo. That was all great, but the outpouring of support is what made it the best choice of perhaps my entire Stanford career.

11:00 PM – Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Dear Stupid Diary,

It feels great to know that whatever rewards I receive for my work on CiC, whether in the form of praise, gifts in the mail, or followers, it all came from the honest, true me. Thank God I didn’t start CiC when I was still figuring out how I wanted to present myself. I might not be certain exactly who/what I am now/yet, but at least I know how highly I value integrity and transparency. I want that to be what CiC is based on– not some manicured, shallow aesthetic that promises to deliver something it can’t. Always gotta keep it real.

skwad

12:48 AM – Technically Friday, July 1, 2016

Dear Stupid Diary,

There’s apparently another CiC fan page on Instagram. I think I really need to take some time and think deeply about how my words and actions now carry a certain weight… they no longer just reflect who I am– they are informing and influencing over four thousand* lil ones out there. I just became a sort of role model for over 4,000* kids. Wow. What a responsibility. What an honor.

I truly believe I can be a good role model for the DRs. I think I can set a good example for them about what it looks like to stay true to yourself– to be chill, to enjoy life, to not be an asshole, to work hard, to love yourself… okay, let me come up with a list of lessons I want CiC to teach:

  1. Your words carry a lot of weight. Say only what you mean.
  2. Don’t be afraid to think deeply (I need to do a better job of showing this)
  3. Love what you love and love it widely, deeply, and unapologetically
  4. Love yourself. Sometimes this means don’t “treat yourself”
  5. Work hard. Throw your back into it. Give it your all.
  6. Be chill
  7. Be confident
  8. Define your own “cool”
  9. Be curious
  10. Ask questions constantly. Seek answers.
  11. Don’t accept everything you read/hear/see– always approach stories with a critical eye.
  12. Don’t try to put on a façade of a perfect life– just be real…
  13. Be transparent
  14. Be grateful
  15. Know your worth and act accordingly
  16. Dream big (I also need to work on showing this)
  17. Let others do them/what makes them happy. And be happy for them.
  18. Expose yourself to alternative perspectives.

Do you think 18 is good enough? I’m tired. It’ll have to do for now.

I LOVE MY DEAR READERS holy sheet this community is the bomb

A post shared by Catherine Götze (Goetze) (@catherinegoetze) on


what was that

I call the journal that I write in “Stupid Diary” as my way of penning the vigorous eye roll I admittedly perform every time I write the D-word. I’d much prefer to call it a journal (i.e. “Dear Journal,”) but the sweet ring of alliteration is all too enticing… WAIT WTF WHY AM I NOT CALLING IT DUMB DIARY–

You just read *real* excerpts from *real* journal entries that I have written about Cath in College over the past year. I hope they give you, Dear Reader, a sense of how my perspective regarding my role as the owner of this blurg has evolved over time. With the addition of every new member of the CiC community, I find myself thinking more and more about how to best navigate the tumultuous rift between being a role model and, you know, human.

My heart swells with gratitude for the jubilant, inspiring, and downright cool af readers who came to the CiC hangout at Stanford on Wednesday. From those who have been watching CiC videos since Q&A #1 to those who just discovered the Crystal Blog, everyone’s presence made it a night to remember. Thank you all so much for coming! (And a special thank you to Georgia, Nat, and Nishant for the hilarious cut outs of Allan’s, Benji’s, Chris’s and my face, and the beautiful gift.)

*This number was based off the number of YouTube subscribers Cath in College had at the time. Now, we’re only about 100 away from 5K! Keep spreading the luv, fam!

Here are the pics 🙂 Click to enlarge!

All my luv,

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P.S. I’m at Philz right now (duh) (sorry) and the girl next to me is FaceTiming her friend? brother? boo thang? and giggling incessantly at whatever it is he’s doing/saying. It is the CUTEST damn thing… I hope they’re reunited soon. ❤

Written by Catherine Goetze

Catherine Goetze www.cathincollege.com Find me on social media! Facebook: www.facebook.com/cathincollege Twitter: @catherinegoetze Instagram: @catherinegoetze SnapChat: @catherinegoetze Contact me: cathincollege@gmail.com

6 comments

  1. Hey Cath! I’ve been reading your blog/watching your videos since I met you in that crazy Brazilian party at Stanford lol I didn’t talk to you so much and maybe next CiC fans meeting hahaha I would love to go and try to get a pic with you #fandom

    Keeping doing your great and awesome work w/ this blog 🙂 :*

    Like

  2. Hey Cath! I’ve been reading your blog/watching your videos for months now, and I honestly love every blog/video you produce. Last night I was reading your blog literally from beginning to end (I have too much time, I know) – and your writing style and the content of your posts totally inspired me to update my own blog! (which i hadn’t updated in about 4 months oops – the post is here if you wanna check it out:https://totallytolu.wordpress.com/2016/07/30/a-quick-update-at-23-54pm/)

    Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you’re a complete inspiration – keep doing what you’re doing! 🙂

    Tolu x

    Like

    1. Tolu! I am so touched by what you wrote about Cath in College on Totally Tolu! I am so proud and glad that you have been able to find inspiration in CiC… thank you so much for your encouragement and support. It truly means the world 🙂 ❤ -Cath

      Like

  3. This is actually the one of the best things I’ve read on CiC. I’ve been reading your blog for a while, and with every post/video it just keeps getting better. I love how much you connect to your fans. I love how much thought you put into your posts. I love how hilarious and ridiculous your entire family is. Honestly, being real and open and chill is totally the way to go, and I have so much respect for everything you do. Keep up the great work! 🙂

    Like

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