Alright, everybody. Meet my friend, Raj.
I lived in Larkin with Raj last year, along with all of the other familiar CiC friends so many of you have come to know and love. Raj is part of the crew, but he doesn’t feel the LOVE because he says he never gets recognized in public like the everyone else (Benji, Allan, Chris, etc.) does.
This is Raj
My goal for today is to introduce you to the wonderful human being that is Dirty Prince Raj Raina, so that those of you who attend our school will help me out and say “hello” if you see him riding to the gym on his hoverboard rocking the Yeezy’s.
First, let’s address the name. Most people call him Raj, but his full nickname is Dirty Prince Raj Raina. I don’t know where “Dirty” comes from, but I can say that “Prince” comes from last spring break, when we decided we’d tell a bunch of girls we met on the beach that he was an Indian prince. (Would you buy it?)
Contrary to what may seem, Raj HAS been on the blog before.
- He’s #20 on the 100th blog post.
- He’s in the CiC calendar in May, June, September, AND December
- He’s in the Behind the Scenes Calendar video at 2:30
- He’s in the Freshman Spring Quarter video for like a split second at 5:08
Look! I’m even in Raj’s profile picture!
And I’ll take this comment and its 16+ likes as a compliment:
What to do if you see Raj
If you see Raj riding his bike to class, eating lunch at Tresidder, or, more likely than anything else, making hella gains at the gym (AOERC aka Farrillaga), you have several options.
1. The Standard “Hey!”
Simply shout out, “Hey! You’re Raj from Cath in College!” Alternatively, you can pose this as a rhetorical question: “Hey! Aren’t you Raj from Cath in College?”
2. Alternative: Touch his muscles
Raj works out a lot so his muscles are pretty big. He has stretch marks like a pregnant woman except on his swole glands, not his stomach. If you don’t feel comfortable saying hello, you can always just walk right up to him and start poking his triceps. This is a good option for those who think calling a “stranger” out in public would be “weird.”
3. Gold Star: Pose for a Photo
If you want to change the course of Raj’s life, simply ask him if you can take a photo with him. I can already guarantee that he will say yes, and that he will then ask you to send him that picture, which he will probably make his phone background and possibly make prints of to hang on his wall.
4. Platinum Level: Ask him out
Level up from a basic photograph by asking Raj to join you on a romantic dinner for two at Nola in Palo Alto! (Creole not your style? He likes other foods too. Just make sure wherever you decide to go, they have menu options with plenty of brotein and “good carbs”.)
5. Ultimate: Marry him
Why not just jump to the granddaddy of levels and drop down on one knee and propose on the spot? Tell him you want to spend the rest of your life with him and make little dirty acid babies together. I can’t guarantee he’ll say yes, but you’ll sure as hell have beat out those lame “Standard Hey!” n00bs.
I hope I’ve done a good enough job of convincing you that saying hello to Raj around campus is a phenomenal idea. He is a great guy– 10/10, would recommend– and will only jump for joy and flash that gorgeous smile if you decide to choose an action item from above.
C’monnnn– look at that face!
LOOK AT IT!!
P.S. Lol Raj had no part in helping me write this post so RAJ IF YOU’RE READING THIS I HOPE YOU DON’T CARE I WROTE ALL THIS HEHEHE LUV U