So I just came to the realization that if any of my peers ever found this blog and knew it was mine I would be hella screwed. I’ve uncovered a LOT of personal details on this blog… details I wouldn’t share with anyone beyond my immediate family and closest friends. So now I feel I must pose the question: Why would I feel comfortable sharing personal information to my quasi-anonymous blog and therefore the entire world but not to, say, a handful of peers with whom I live at University?
So why write about topics that put me in such a position? Well, it’s about being human, having a voice, and wanting to share a story. Like any person on this earth, I have experiences that shape my actions and emotions every moment of every day. What do I mean by that? For example, if I were to become pregnant, I would be faced with a huge challenge. My life would undoubtedly be changed forever. I would have to take action: Will I decide to keep the baby? Will I commit to a relationship with the father? Will I stay at college or drop out to begin making money to support the child? I would begin to feel new emotions as well, perhaps angst, fear, or joy.The answer has to do with my assumption that realm consisting of those who may have the good fortune of stumbling upon my blog and immersing themselves in all its glory will never overlap with the realm consisting of everybody I have ever met. It’s an awfully idealistic assumption: With it, I gain the viewership of the masses without the personal connection that could potentially drive my private life into the dirt if somebody were so inclined to expose me. Essentially, I’m relying on the fact that the world is too big and therefore the chances are slim enough that I don’t need to worry that anybody I know– or better yet, knows me– will ever see any one of the posts which put me in such an incredibly vulnerable position.
But take for example a less dramatic experience, such as having an immense crush on a boy who does not have an immense crush back on me. (Sad face emoji.) This experience would shape my actions: Will I choose to flirt with this boy? Will I joke around playfully with him the same way I do with my plutonic male comrades? Will I purposefully resist being my fun, flirty, playful self around him in an effort to elicit, somehow, a mere morsel of attraction? It will also shape my emotions. Perhaps I will become depressed, frustrated, or pitiful.
These experiences, both the life-altering and the day-to-day, are constantly affecting me as a human being. As they build up, and as I reflect on them, I develop a longing to share them with others. In life, however, it can be difficult to find people with whom one can share such intimate (or not) experiences. On my blog, I don’t have to wait for somebody to listen or for somebody to give me the chance to speak. I can say whatever I please about anything at all.
So here is a place, safe beneath the cover of my bedsheets yet vast beyond the expanses of the a world-wide web, where I can share with you, dear reader, the stories of my life. I can choose to tell you about my frustrations, my triumphs, my failures, or whatever else I please without having to worry that your knowledge of such intimate details of my life will ever come around to bite me in the rear. This will always be a safe place, so long as there are enough Caths in college.